I caught myself
by redflashlight
Summary: "It's Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan?" Damon chuckled. She rolled her eyes. "It's Rose, it's always going to be Rose?" Damon grinned.  He was inches away from her face, "No Elena." "It's you Damon; it's always going to be you. Now and forever."
1. I cheated, I wasn't compelled

"I love you, Elena. And because I love you I can't be selfish with you. I don't deserve you, but my brother does." Then he, Damon, compels her, Elena.

It was a long night for the both of them because Elena pretended she was compelled. She cheated. There was vervain on her bra strap, she intended to put it there because she heard footsteps, and she thought it was Katherine.

She can't fall asleep, so she sat there looking at her diary, but wasn't writing anything. She was re-reading her old entries. She missed the times when her problems were just how Caroline was annoying her. And, that was nothing compared to her problems now.

How she would stay alive for tomorrow to protect her loved ones. She is a doppelganger anyway.

"Don't stress yourself too much." Damon came in through Elena's window. Elena eyed him suspiciously. He acted cool; his façade was there, like he wasn't here few moments ago.

"Hey." She said uncomfortably.

"Since when, my dear Elena did you became uncomfortable with my beloved presence?" Damon acted like he was hurt; he placed his right arm straight to his heart.

"I am not uncomfortable with your presence. I'm just clouded because of what actually happened to me tonight." She sighed.

But then, strong arms embraced her into a tight hug. She hugged Damon back.

"We'll be celebrating tomorrow." He assured her, letting her go.

"You're taking me somewhere?" Elena exclaimed. He chuckled.

"I'm so sorry, no." Elena was disappointed now. She lay back on her bed, ignoring Damon. He stood up and lay beside her.

"Do you wanna go somewhere?" Damon smirked.

"Yeah, away from here. Away from Stefan for awhile." Damon snigger.

Elena watched him with fascination.

"Away from my goody good, baby brother St. old Stefan?" Elena rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but don't tell him." She giggled.

"Rose and Lexi are coming over tomorrow for that little feast." Damon then told her.

"Oh, I thought we'll be in Egypt, Norway, Greece or Poland tomorrow." Elena yawned and curled into a ball and fell asleep. Damon smirked, touched her cheeks, kissed her forehead and whispered I love you Elena before he disappeared.

Elena woke up. She remembered last night and she was searching the last man she saw before she goes to sleep. Damon.

She took a bath and ate breakfast, Stefan knocked and Elena welcomed him.

"So, what's up?" Stefan asked.

"I'm fine." That's all she answered him. She doesn't wanna see him now; every part of her was craving for someone's attention instead of his.

"Come over today, Rose and Lexi came over last night for a little feast that we made it through." Elena agreed, she fixed herself.

When she was already applying makeup, Stefan spun her around and kissed her gently, she felt something in the pit of the stomach. She didn't want it to be this way anymore. She ended the kiss and they headed for the boarding house.

When they arrived, they found Rose and Lexi preparing the dining room.

"Rose, Lexi." She called out. With vampire speed they went to her and hugged her with human energy.

"We're glad you made it." Rose told her.

"Yes, thanks to the Salvatore brothers."

Damon entered the dining room and wore his famous smirk.

"Let's eat!" Lexi announced.

Elena noticed how Rose fully accommodates Damon with everything. She's eyeing them suspiciously, Stefan seems to notice.

"Rose loves Damon." Stefan stated.

"I see." That was all she was able to answer.

She made it through without breaking down with the view in front of her. Elena went straight into the kitchen to clean the dishes, when she suddenly drops a plate, she was expecting for the banging sound it'll make.

"Boo." Damon whispered in her ear with her eyes closed she smiled and said.

"I forgot, this was Salvatore's boarding house, which means full of vampires." Damon smirked.

Rose entered and kissed him passionately, she wants to stop Rose from kissing him and she wants to sue Damon for kissing Rose in front of her.

She returns to her dishes in order to look for another way to avoid the scene and the unknown feeling she's having. After she finishes the dishes, she silently walks away to leave the two vampires alone.

"Going somewhere?" Rose asked.

"I'm done, giving both of you a privacy too." She smiled, Rose smiled back and she quickly left.

She finds Stefan and Lexi in the living area laughing, there he looked so happy, she just watch the two from afar.

"Elena, what are you doing there?" Lexi asked.

"I'm already leaving." She said. Stefan looked at her.

"Jenna needs me for the laundry, bye Lexi, bye Stefan." She approached Stefan and kissed him then left.

She drives home, trying to figure out what she was feeling. She felt this before when she asked Bonnie's and Caroline's help. She reached for her phone and dialed Bonnie first.

"This is Bonnie, I'm sorry I can't talk to you now. Say it." Elena rolled her eyes, answering machine again, she thought.

"Hey, Bonnie. Can you, uh, come over tonight with Caroline? I just need some advice. Thanks." She did the same with Caroline.

As soon as she gets home, Bonnie was there so as Caroline.

"Upstairs" she just simply said and they followed her.

"What is it, Elena?" Caroline's high-pitched voice surrounded her room.

"Please, don't hate me for this." She sighed.

"And why is that?" Bonnie asked.

"I'm inlove.." she breathes in "But not with Stefan anymore." She sighs, waiting for their reaction.

"To another vampire." Bonnie asked, more like stated.

"Yeah."

"I think I know who." Caroline said. "To the other Salvatore brother." Caroline confirmed.

"Elena!" Bonnie freaked out, Elena nodded.

"Wait, Bonnie. Let me explain, I don't know what I'm feeling right now because I saw Rose kiss him. I wanted to sue him and I wanted to stop her. He said he loves me, but he compelled me, and I cheated. There was a vervain in my strap. Do you get my point?" Bonnie sighs.

"I know what you feel." Bonnie looks at Caroline for confirmation, Caroline looks at her.

"You're jealous."

"No, I can't be." She denies.

"You feel the same way." Caroline stated

"You just deny it, because you don't wanna hurt Stefan. Bu if you don't love him the way you did before, allow him to let loose of you, then." Bonnie dared.

" Elena we need to go. We're arranging Tyler's party for tomorrow. And, you're oh so invited." They smiled and left.

"Yeah, sure."

Later that evening, she called Stefan to come over, in less than 30 seconds he was there.

"Let's go to Tyler's party tomorrow. Let loose Stefan. Party." Stefan eyes her suspiciously, she sounded drunk.

"Okay, alright Stefan. I don't wanna hurt you, but please I want you to be happy." She said.

"But, I am happy with you, Elena." Stefan countered back.

"I know you're confused right now, but trust me, for the last time. Lexi's the right vampire for you, not me a human." Stefan simply understood.

"My brother, right?" Stefan said coldly. "Don't worry I'll let loose, just stay with me."

"I will, Stefan." Elena assured. Then Stefan left.

Without her knowing, Stefan who had animal diet lost it; he attacked a couple that night and drained them to death.

Elena thought everything will still workout, she slept that night peacefully.

The next day, she went straight to the boarding house only to find Damon and Lexi in the house pacing back and forth.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Both the vampires stopped walking and looked at each other.

"Stefan."


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't know what happened to him last night but he gradually came home with dried blood and early this morning, a couple was found dead." Lexi explained. Elena instantly remembered what happened last night.

"Where is he?"

"In his room." Damon simply stated. "Lexi, I'll go hunting for while and I'll be checking the town council." Lexi just nodded.

Damon walked right pass her without even looking at her.

She then decided to go to Stefan's room.

"Stefan?" she knocked but no one answered. So she just entered.

"Elena." She was surprised.

"What happened to you?" She approached him and touched his cheeks.

Stefan lost his control and pushed her into a wall.

"Stefan! You're hurting me!" She practically screamed at him, but to his anger, he only gripped her tighter.

"I won't let you be happy with someone else especially if it's my brother, Elena! You're like Katherine!" She was suddenly being lifted and thrown into his bed. Stefan strangled her when she was choking, Stefan stopped.

"Leave!" Stefan shouted. She can't move.

"I said leave!" He repeated what he said. Elena struggled to stand up and leave, when she was out of Stefan's room she cried all the way to her car, when she reached her room all she did was cry and shout. She had no choice but to stay away from Stefan.

That night, Damon came to visit her and invite her over to Tyler's party. But she wasn't dressed for anything.

"Elena? Why aren't you dressed for Tyler's party?" She can't move, her body feels sore, all she did was shrugged. Her voice and strength was lost, taken away from her.

She closed her eyes when she felt that Damon was going to check if she was asleep. He caressed her cheeks, she felt safe. Then the sensation was gone. Damon was gone, tears started falling.

"Damon? I'm sorry." She whispered through shut eyes. Then she felt Damon's presence again, he walked with human speed and sat beside Elena.

"What's wrong, Elena?" he asked, his voice tainted with fear, comfort and concern.

She can't face him now; he can't see her like this now, crying, weak. She can't allow Damon to feel her pain, she wants Damon to see Elena with a smile plastered on her face, the Elena he once knew the strong one. But she can't cover herself now from him when all she wanted was _him_ and _his warmth_.

Damon touched her sheets; she shivers because of the warmth of his hands. With vampire speed Damon was already in front of her, wiping her tears and whispering sweets nothings to her.

"Elena, tell me what's wrong." Damon sounded determined.

With her shaky voice she whispered, "Stefan." Damon instantly stood up and clenched his fists.

Elena reaches his hands to comfort him, but because of his vampire senses, he caught her first. She gasps and close her eyes immediately.

"Who did this to you Elena? Who Elena who?" Damon's voice cracked.

She sobs and at this point, Damon instantly knew who. He lets go of her and walked away with human speed.

"Damon, don't. Damon, don't go and leave me now. I need you. I _really _need you." Damon stops walking and looks back at Elena. With all his might he walks to her and comforts her.

"I'm sorry, Elena, I wasn't around to protect you from the monster he has become."

"Damon, I need you to be there for me." Elena sobbed into his shoulder.

"I need you to tell me to protect you." Damon pleaded.

Elena obliged. "Damon I need you. To protect me from everything, from the monster Stefan has become."

"What happened to him, Elena?"

"I cheated."

"What?" Damon spat.

Elena slightly giggled then she looks at him. "Silly Damon, not to him." She stopped and rolled her eyes.

"To whom?"

"To you."

"Me? How? We don't even have a thing." Damon lets go of her.

"Damon. Listen to me." Elena whispered. Damon stayed silent.

"The night you compelled me, I wasn't compelled, I cheated. I heard you came inside and I thought you were Katherine so I had a vervain in my strap. You came back that night and told me not to stress too much. You also told me that there will be a celebration, I even asked whether we'll be in Norway, Poland or whatsoever place in the world the next day."

Damon didn't face her. She continued.

"I confronted Bonnie and Caroline about it, the night you kissed Rose in front of me made me feel an unknown feeling. I never felt it with Stefan. I asked them what it is, they said I was jealous. I denied it because I can't be, knowing that you compelled me."

Damon opened his mouth but was interrupted by her.

"That night as well, I asked Stefan to visit me, I told him to loosen up on me, he said he will as long as I stay with him, and I assured him. And then this.. This lost of self-control occurred."

"What else did he do to you, Elena." Damon, with the veins coming out and his blue eyes turning black, faces Elena.

Elena comes out of the sheets and touches Damon's face, caressing his face in order for them to return to normal.

"Nothing more, except the fact that he shouted at me."

"Elena, what's this?" Damon suddenly touches her neck.

"Oh, that's uh—"

"He strangled you, Elena! He did that to you! I-I can never do that to you..." Damon's voice softened.

Elena was slowly closing the gap between them. "I know." She whispers, her lips only inches away from his.

She kissed him weakly. Damon responds, he ended the kiss and his thumb was drawing endless circles on Elena neck.

"What else Elena?" he whispers.

Elena kissed him again now with all her might, passionately, he responds but he kisses her tenderly only even though she deepens the kiss. Elena kneels and pushes Damon to lie on the bed, and when she was on top of him, he could easily see all the marks Stefan gave her.

He snakes his arms on her waist, he ended the kiss even though his hormones are kicking in.

Elena sighs, "I was looking for him, remember. And when I entered his room, he pushed me to the wall and he said, if I can't be with him, he won't let me be happy with anyone else, especially you." He chuckled.

"Me, as if I have a chance."

"Damon, you have. I'm not yet done. When I said he's hurting me his grip tightened. And then he threw me to the bed and chocked me. When I can no longer breathe, he stopped and shouted at me to leave the room." She sighs and I tear fell. He wipes it with his thumb.

"I'm so sorry, Elena, I left you with Stefan, Lexi followed me and said we should give you two privacy. Rose was making sure that the victims were recovered." Elena smiles, a sad smile.

"How could I be so blind?" Damon sits up.

"What, Elena?"

She hugs him, and when she reached his ear she whispered, "I love you, Damon. Please don't let me go." She hugged him tighter.

Damon responded when his hug tightened, he could feel Elena tense up, so he drew circles on Elena's back, she sighs.

"That's comforting you know." She giggled. She lets go of Damon and she faces him, she smiles.

"Have you eaten? I can bring someone for you." She winked. Now with her back at the headboard she offers her hand to Damon.

"Sit with me, please. I really don't feel comfortable without you tonight." Damon's smirk returns, he accepted her hand and he lies on her stomach.

"You're joking right."

"With what?"

With vampire speed he was inches away from her face. He could hear her heart beating fast. He chuckles.

"Crazy Ms. Gilbert." His smirk returns.

Elena gasps. "I am not crazy!"

"Believe what you want." He turns away but Elena's hand grabbed his collar.


	3. Chapter 3

"What if, I want to believe that I'm in love with you?" she smirked at him, her lips brushing his.

"Okay, alright." Was all he could say before he kissed her passionately.

She ended the kissed because she needed air.

They both fell asleep on each other's arms. Feeling safe and comfortable.

She woke up with a smile realizing she had the man she wanted. She knows Damon won't be there, so she decided to take a bath and head downstairs.

"Good morning, sunshine." She jumps upon hearing Jenna say that.

"Oh my god, Jenna. Are you.. are you on drugs today?" Jeremy and Jenna laugh hard enough to make them cry.

"No, totally not." Jenna rolls her eyes.

"Then, why are you acting like that..that!"

"Because, I wanted a change."

"No, Elena, she just had a fun, _oh fun_ night yesterday with Alaric." Jeremy said.

"Oh my god. Jer, I never thought this will actually happen today, can you uh, accompany me to have breakfast somewhere?"

"You don't really wanna go now, Elena, she made your favorite."

"Please?" Jenna pleaded.

"Oh have mercy on me, God." Elena pleads. She never thought her life would be like this again. So relax and could care less.

She decided to drop by to the boarding house despite what happened the last time she came there.

She opens the wooden door and enters silently.

"Elena." Lexi's voice echoed.

"Lexi.. is Rose here?"

"Actually, she's about to leave. Why?"

"Cause, I don't wanna be left alone again." Lexi lead her to the living room and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry. Damon's talking to him right—" Lexi was cut off by a banging sound that made them run to Stefan's room.

"Stay back." Lexi snapped at Elena.

She nodded. Lexi opened the door only to be welcomed by Damon who was thrown to the other end of the hallway.

"Elena!" Lexi immediately grabbed her.

"Lexi! Why'd you bring her here?" Damon instantly stood up and extended his arm in front of Elena, with Lexi entering Stefan's room.

"Damon!" Stefan came out burning with anger.

"Stefan, no!" Lexi stopped him.

Elena pushed Damon's hand and faced Stefan bravely.

"Stefan."

"Oh. Good morning, Elena. What brings you here?" in a split second Lexi and Damon was already on her side.

"Don't _fucking_ touch her!" Damon snarled.

Stefan was about to lunge at Damon when she stepped in front of him.

"Elena!" Lexi shouted trying to block Stefan.

"Stop, Stefan!" Elena screamed.

To Stefan's surprise he froze.

"I-I'm sorry." He turned away.

"I came here to talk to you." Stefan froze.

Elena asked Damon to give her and Stefan privacy, but you know they could actually hear them with those vampire senses.

Damon hisses, Lexi glanced over Stefan and walked away with Damon.

"Elena, I'm so sorry." Stefan walked to her.

"Don't Stefan, don't come near me." He stopped walking.

"I came here to tell you that I do love you Stefan, the old you and because you lost him the Stefan I know so well and you became a monster. I came here to break up with you."

He sighed in relief. "I can never do that, but that's better." Stefan looks at her, and he smiled at her warmly.

"You never actually lost me, Stefan."

"I just chose to let you go, in a very wrong way."

Elena looks away.

"Damon, Damon deserves to be happy, so are you. Because I love you Elena, I will set you free."

Elena walks to Stefan and hugs him for the last time. "Thank you, Stefan."

"Got Lexi here to help me."

"Totally." Elena rolls her eyes and walks away.

Elena continued to walk away from the house from Stefan, Damon and Lexi.

That night, Damon came to her.

"I never actually broke his heart."

"Why?" Damon asked, while watching a movie with her.

"He got Lexi." Elena winked.

"Who do I get? I plan on getting Lexi!"

Elena scowled; she walked away again and went straight to the kitchen.

"And, why exactly here?" Damon followed her with vampire speed.

"Don't talk to me. Can't you see I'm busy?" Elena snapped at him.

"Oooooh, getting a little bit moody? He teased.

She didn't answer him, instead she walked pass him and return to their old position.

"You know what, Rose asked me something." He said.

"What?"

"She said, if she would ever come back to Mystic Falls, would she ever get the chance to get my attention away from some other people, can she get my word that I'll protect her from anything."

"Mmmm."

"I answered her with, maybe. Yeah, probably. I guess so, it depends and a never ending we'll see." Elena shoved the popcorn away from her and stood up.

"Walking away again?" Damon sound dull.

"You think? I'm making popcorn again, my own popcorn." She walked away again from him. Damon just watched her.

Elena was waiting for the popcorn to pop, she particularly stared at nothing, thinking about what Rose asked Damon and how Damon answered her question.

She imitated Rose, "Can I get your attention away from other people, why can't she just name me? _Fuck_ it."

When she turned around she found Damon on their island, smirking.

"What are you smirking at?" she snapped.

"Why are you so moody today, Elena? You keep on walking away!" Damon said sarcastically.

"Nothing in particular."

When she was halfway on their kitchen doorframe, she stopped.

She mimicked Rose again but no sounds just practically annoying herself, Damon walked pass her and grab a handful of popcorn.

"You know, you can stop annoying yourself and sit with me here."

"Like I wanted to sit with you." She sits on the sofa and watches the movie.

"Rose again asked me something."

"What?" she said bitterly, Damon noticed it and he smirked inwardly.

"Rose asked me if I was a human would I name my child Rose."

Elena was apparently annoyed with him repeating her name over and over again.

"Oh, would you?"

"Please stop talking about her, I'm _fucking_ jealous now." She whispered to herself.

"Rose said again—"

"What game are you playing, Damon? I'm not in for it, play it by yourself!" Elena was now mad.

"Why are you so moody tooooodayyyy?" he sing-song and he smirked.

"I'm heading for my room." When she was half way to her room, Damon appeared in front of her.

"You're jealous." He simply said and he smirked.

"I'm not." She walked pass him but he blocks her way.

"If you're not, then why are you walking away?"

"Cause you're talking about Rose!" she pushed him with all her strength.

"Yeah? Cause you're jealous. Oh so jealous." Damon teased.

When they were at her bed. She finally gave in. she sighs hard and falls back on her bed.

"Yeah. You can say that, I'm jealous." She gasps.

Damon smirks.

Elena walked to her dresser and fixed her hair.

"No need to be." Damon simply said while playing with her teddy bear.

"Mr. Teddy here knows that I love you." Elena spins around.

"You do?"

"I what?" Damon asked innocently. With vampire speed she was in front of Elena.

"I do, love you?" Damon questioned. She just nodded.

"Elena, Elena." Damon chuckled.

"Of course I do."

"I love you." Elena whispered.

Damon, spun her around facing the mirror and he brought up his hand and showed her a dazzling necklace.

He puts it on her, "I love you too."

"It's Stefan; it's always going to be Stefan?" Damon chuckled.

She rolled her eyes. "It's Rose; it's always going to be Rose?" Damon grinned.

He was inches away from her face, "No Elena."

"It's you Damon; it's always going to be you. Now and forever."

With that, he kissed her fiercely.

**A/N: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, PLEASE REVIEW! **

**XOXO, REDFLASHLIGHT ay your service.**


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